so i just read a post cricket rebloged and the words “i’m lonely too” caught my eye. there is something about the word “lonely” that creeps me out. ive heard a few people say it, and it kind of disturbs me.
i assume that everyone is lonely. its a given. you can be all by yourself, or surrounded by people and feel lonely. you can have no life, or an overly active social calendar and be painfully lonesome.
even though i shy away from showing my emotions to people (because showing your emotions is involuntary, not controlled, up for interpretation), i can and do articulate them verbally all the time (cause that way its somehow controlled, given context, justified or validated).
but fuck, the word lonely. it just sound so… i dont know… pitiful. it sounds like desperation. being sad or in mourning is one thing, but verbalizing out loud to other people that you are “lonely” sounds like you’re wallowing in that sadness. that you feel sorry for yourself.
its kind of how i feel about empathy and pity. i’m ok with empathy, but i’d never want anyone to “pity” me. its insulting. arrogant even. i feel like people that admit to being lonely are asking for pity.
im reading this and i realize i sound like an incredible asshole. everyone is lonely at one time or another… i just dont like the word. im not entirely sure why.
